Naughty leg

The Scene: the Big Bed, this morning.

Noah: (pointing to right leg) I got a sore leg, Mummy.

Mum: What happened to it?

Noah: It got kicked.

Mum: Really? Who kicked it?

Noah: (pointing to left leg) This leg did, Mummy.

Mum: Uh oh! Your leg kicked your other leg?

Noah: Yes it did, Mummy. Naughty leg! (smacks left leg hard)

Mum: So now I guess you've got two sore legs.

Home alone

I had a long afternoon sleep today.

While I was asleep, Mum realised we needed a few grocery supplies.

Dad was planting trees in the backyard.

"Keep an ear out for him" Mum told Dad, "If he wakes up and can't find anyone, he'll get scared and cry."

Turns out I'm braver than I'm given credit for.

Dad did keep an ear out. And he didn't hear anything.

But he did see something; when he peered in the windows he saw that the venetian blinds were all askew.

He raced inside to find me in the study, perched up on the office chair, my hands covered in sticky tape and many, many Internet Explorer windows open on the computer.

"Who did that to the blinds Noah?" he asked me.

"Daddy?" I suggested.

"Nope" Dad said, "I'm Daddy and I didn't do it".

So I fessed up. About the blinds. And about the sticky tape. And about the computer.

"I sorry Daddy. I not do it ever ever again"

And chances are I won't get left alone in the house ever ever again.

The story of Gideon

Now that I've graduated to Midgets (Sunday School for little kids), we do Bible stories at church.

This is what I told dad after church;

"God told a man, not Moses, to go BANG, and all the men ran away"

Apologies

I'm pretty good at apologies.

In fact, I'm so good I sometimes make the apology before I actually do the thing I'm apologising for.

Scene 1: Mum and Dad's bed

Noah: (jumping on bed)

Mum: Noah! Don't jump on the bed!

Noah: (putting on a very solemn face and tone) I sorry Mummy. I not do it ever, ever again.

Mum: That's ok. Thank you for saying sorry.

Scene 2: Mum and Dad's bed - five minutes later

Noah: Can I turn on Daddy's light?

Mum: No you can't.

Noah: (inching towards the light) Please Mummy?

Mum: I said no.

Noah: (with light switch in hand and putting on a very solemn face and tone) I sorry Mummy. I not do it ever, ever again.

Noah: (switches on the light)

Shhhh!

I know a secret.

I don't even know that it is a secret.

Mum and Dad sometimes wish they hadn't told me.

Because they're sure I'll spill the beans.

But I haven't told anyone yet.

Well, I might have told one or two people.

But they're not telling.

Cup of tea

Mum: Good job eating your lunch! Would you like an orange now?

Noah: Yes please. And a cup of tea.

Funnings

There's a wonderful shop.

That I love very much.

I call it 'Funnings' and indeed, it is a fun place to shop.

Dad and I went there after church this afternoon.

I had my own little trolley to push around the aisles.

Which made a few old ladies smile.

Dad even gave me jobs to do, like find a nozzle for the caulking gun.

And I did it! Are you impressed?

Then we shared a sausage on bread.

I love Funnings.