Mum said no

I was in an obstinant mood after my sleep this afternoon.

Mum offered me juice, but I'd caught sight of a can of soft drink in the fridge and wanted that instead.

Mum said no.

Then I decided I wanted milo.

Mum said no to that too.

So I grabbed a box of museli bars and dared mum to say no.

But she said yes!

What's a little boy - committed to obstinance - to do in such a situation?

Demand two museli bars!

Mum said no.

Nummy Bar

Mum and dad have been wondering when we'd have our first 'family word'.

You know, a term known, and used by, the select few who live under the same roof.

Often, these words are created because of a mispronunciation.

We have our first; Nummy Bar.

I say 'nummy' when I mean yummy.

I love muesli bars. They're yummy.

I have been asking for 'nummy bars' all day.

Nummy Bars are now a family word.

This habit is a popular one

I didn't want to say anything before, in case it didn't stick, but I have slept a week in my own bed, without the late night visit to the Big Bed.

That's right. Seven days in a row!

Quite a big deal around here.

Mum and dad are so used to me popping in at 12am, or 1 or 2 or 3, that when I didn't show up they didn't quite know what to do.

Arrrggghhhh! Grandad's got one too!

I stayed over at Grandma and Grandad's place becasue mum and dad are off at some la-de-dah party kids weren't invited to.

I slept right through the night, much to grandmas, and mums, delight.

When I trotted in to see grandad I got a huge fright.

He was wearing a mask, just like the dreaded nebuliser.

It helps him breathe easier in the night, but it helped me get the freak-outs!

Grandma said 'quick, take it off', but it was too late...

Fortunately grandad only wears it during the night and when I saw him later the mask was nowhere to be seen.

One by one by one

It was a busy morning.

First, we had our farmer neighbour come over to help chainsaw up the old tree. I had a marvelous time watching all the branches get up. and when the old stump got cut I gave a cheer.

Later on, mum and dad were busy getting ready for a dinner party. I am not going to the party. I am going to spend the night at grandma and grandad's place.

While mum and dad were madly getting ready I found the muesli container on the kitchen table. I took it into the bathroom where I ate it one piece at a time. It kept me busy for ages.

What's in a name

I refer to myself as No-No.

I have for a very long time.

Mum and dad have encouraged me to say 'No-Ah' but I've been too much a fan of the double 'no'.

My very good friend Olive is a 'no-no' sayer too. Well, she WAS a 'no-no' sayer until today. When it was time to wave goodbye today she said 'bye Noah'.

So mum and dad thought if she can say it, I should be able to give it a go too.

Teatime conversation went as follows;

Mum: 'Say Noah'
Me: 'No-No'
Mum: 'No-Ah'
Me: 'No-No'
Mum: 'No AHHH!'
Me: 'No-No-AH!'
Everybody: laughs!

Walking backwards

The weather is fine, and so dad and I decided it was time to get back to the park.

We decided on the big park with the ducks because we could do the 'toot toot' truck trick at the traffic lights.

It worked! We got three trucks to blow their horns, and we got lots of smiles from people in cars too.

On our way home, as we turned into our street, I decided to turn around and walk home backwards.

It took a long time.

A very long time.

But with dad making sure there was no danger in front of me, I made it safely to the house.

Ladies craft mornings are great for little boys

I went to a ladies craft morning at church today.

That may sound like the worst thing a little boy could be dragged along to, but there were a couple of factors that made it brilliant fun.

First, Sam came. He's a little bit older than me, but still plays with me. He's cool.

Secondly, they had a playroom set-up and a nice lady looking after us who gave us stickers and morning tea. Very cool.

I was so worn out that when we got home I fell asleep on mum's shoulder while she was talking on the phone. She put me to bed and I slept for almost three hours.

Mum says we'll definitely go back to craft next time it's on.

Off with those shoes

There's not much to do on a car trip if you're small like me.

I don't have any say in where we go.

I don't get to decide what we listen to.

And since mum had to clean out my car seat and extract a thousand sultanas, I don't get to eat as much as I used to either.

But I do get to decide whether I wear shoes or not!

I have been exercising this small degree of self-determination by removing my shoes and socks every time we drive somewhere.

Mum says it's a bit annoying to wrestle my shoes on my feet at home (my Chucks might look cool but they're a bit of a hassle to put on), only to arrive at our destination and find me sans shoes and socks.

Sleeping like a teenager

I've been sleeping in lately.

Today mum came in to wake me up well after I usually wake up. I grunted and rolled back over to get some more shut-eye!

She joked to dad that's what a teenager would do, not a two year old!

The good news is she had to come into my room to wake me up. I didn't make my nightly trek into the big bed.

One more mouthful...

Mum and dad try to be cool about food.

They don't want to be those parents who obsess about how many mouthfuls I eat.

But there are times that my effort just doesn't justify getting any dessert.

And that's when I'm told 'one more mouthful and then you can have ice-cream'

But sometimes I don't want one more mouthful.

Fortunately I think I found a loophole today.

I opened my mouth wide, and let dad put the spoon in.

Then, after he said 'good boy' and turned around to get me my ice-cream, I spat the food out.

Yeah, I'm so clever. Or so I thought.

Unfortunately the food landed on mum's shiny clean floor. Apparently swallowing is the main part of the whole 'eating experience'.

I was not met with smiles. Or ice cream.

Lesson learned. For now...

Footy twins

I found a couple of footy jerseys in the cupboard this afternoon.

Over the years (the two that I've been alive) dad has taken great pleasure in buying me sports related items. I've got 5 football jerseys now*, which he explained to mum will keep me dressed for a few good years of barracking.

Mum helped me into the size 2 shirt, and I requested we give the other one to daddy.

"Daddy footy?" I asked.

So I met him in the study and shoved my size 0 jersey into his hands.

He said there was a pretty good chance it wouldn't fit him, but he would go and grab his own jersey.

Not only did he get his jersey, he got two footy scarves from the cupboard.

We put them on. And cheered for the Lions. And they won.

*All on special, and all different sizes. Just in case you thought we were really weird.

If I shut my eyes is it still naughty?

I got caught doing something naughty today.

As soon as I heard the 'Don't do that" I stood perfectly still and shut my eyes tight.

Even though my eyes were shut tight mum still knew exactly where I was. She's pretty clever!

Later on when I reached for the on button of the dishwasher, something I know I'm never to touch, I heard mum again, and immediately shut my eyes.

She still knew where to find me.

I think my 'invisibility cloak' needs a bit of work.

Jammie day

It was cold today!

Very cold.

Too cold to go to the park.

Too cold to even get changed.

So dad let me stay in my Pjs all day.

A Wiggles DVD played on constant rotation all day, and we managed to keep warm by doing a bit of running up and down the hallway.

When mum got home she wondered why I was still in my jammies.

Two by two

When I'm eating, I like things to be even. Something in each hand.

I've even started finishing my food request sentences with 'two?'

Two bikkies, two chips, two grapes.

Everything two by two.

Well, they did call me Noah, didn't they?

Cancel my appointments

No playgroup for me today. Still too sick.

I miss out on all the fun jobs

I was meant to go to Grandma's house today but I was still too sick.

Dad is home this week to do some jobs around the house. We ordered a big rubbish skip and we plan to fill it this week.

When I say 'we' I mean mum and dad, not me.

Apparently skips are not for toddlers.

In the afternoon both the adults had to carry big heavy things, and I didn't help as much as I could, so I got relegated to my room.

As you'd expect, I protested very loudly.

But after a few minutes I forgot about the work they were doing outside, and focused on the fun I could have with my trains and my cars and my other toys.

I do not want to go to the planet Nebulon

I am not feeling well.

I've had a couple more spews, and I've been coughing a lot.

The doctor decided we should try out a nebuliser and see if it helps me breathe better.

I think I'd rather just cough. That nebuliser is not cool. It is a frightening, noisy machine that has a mask I'm supposed to put on. No way!

Dad thought he'd try and make it exciting. He made up a story about a space mission to the planet Nebulon, and to get there we'd have to put our space masks on.

Pffft.

I am not falling for that. I do not like the blinkin' mask, and I don't like the blinkin' noise. And I don't care if there's a mission to the planet Ice Cream, I am not wearing that thing.

Unfortunately, and fortunately, it seemed to work, and after a few minutes of horrible torture I breathed a bit easier.

I think I'll breathe easier forever now. That crazy machine scared the wheezes out of me!

The cleanup

Hold those noses! The car stinks.

Mum thought we might have to throw out my carseat.

Dad thought we might have to throw out the whole car.

On second thoughts, they rolled up their sleeves and got to cleaning the car after my big spew.

Out came the seatcovers and out came the baby seat. Everything that could fit went into the washing machine and everything else got hosed.

Mum says she found about a thousand and one sultanas, which I'd wedged into every crack and crevice.

Dad went to work in the car. He used bi-carb soda and white vinegar.

The car doesn't smell like vomit anymore. It smells like vinegar.

But we all agree that it's an improvement.

Diagnosis: F.O.B

I had a pretty rough night, coughing and wheezing quite a bit.

I was very quiet all morning, and mum decided to take me to the doctor to see if there was something he could do.

By the time he got to see me I perked up, and when he was writing his notes he wrote "FOB", which he explained stood for Full Of Beans!

He said I might have asthma or bronchitis. Mum had asthma when she was a kid.

So armed with some new medicine we went home.

Later on I did the biggest spew in my whole life. In the car. It went everywhere. Yuk!

Funny chair

Dad and I went to the park today.

I was very excited becasue I got to ride on the Funny Chair!

That's what I call the see-saw.

We didn't run around as much as we usually do, becasue I kept getting distracted by all the leaves on the ground. I had to sit down and pick each one up. It was a big job!

That was the fun part, the sad news is I developed a big cough tonight, and had a couple of little spews.

No, not 'bye wiggles'

I like closure.

Doors need to be shut, and things need to be said 'bye' to.

"Bye dad", "bye mum", "bye wee" (yep, I've been known to send a cheerio with a flush of the loo)

Mum will get me to say bye to whatever we're watching on the telly when it's time to do something else.

Today I did not want to stop watching the TV and announced "No, not 'bye wiggles'"

The F word

Hypothetically, if dad was to accidently let slip a slightly PG rated term for flatulence within my earshot, there is a very good chance that I would remember said word and use it myself in context when I let one rip.

But this is all very hypothetical, of course ;)

Monday, hit the shops

Today is shopping day.

There are many things I would rather do than go shopping.

But there are a few things I like about it;

1. Riding on the escalator, and counting down to jumping off the escalator
2. Riding in the Wiggle Car/Bob the Builder tractor/Thomas Train
3. Rearranging the groceries from one compartment of the trolley to the other
4. Putting the groceries on the conveyer belt at the check-out.

The things I don't like include;

1. Having to sit in the little chair in the trolley
2. Having to hold mum's hand in the carpark
3. Having to hold mum's hand on the escalator
4. Not being allowed to keep the things I manage to pull from the shelves

Poo in the loo

Mum and dad thought I was doing a bit of stalling before my daytime sleep when I asked to go to the toilet.

But I wasn't.

And I proved it by doing my first poo in the loo!

There was much celebration.

If the neighbours were in their garage, which is right outside our loo, they would have been treated to quite a show. Hoots and hollers and all-round high fives!

...with a mandarin in his hand

Grandad popped me on the scales today and told mum, 'he weighs 13.1 kilograms, with a mandarin in his hand'

I'm all for accuracy, but there's no way I'm putting down a good piece of fruit, even if it gets in the way of a weigh-in!

Working the room

We went to a family reunion today. Lots of mum's relatives were there.

Mostly oldies*.

Despite the fact I was the only person under 20 there, I spent the afternoon 'chatting' to the old blokes, and getting lots of compliments about my exemplary behaviour.

I had a late sleep, and it was only short, so by the time we picked up dad from work I was not displaying my exemplary behaviour at all!

*Mum has requested that I clarify 'oldies'. Fifty-ish. I'm two, so any one older than 10 is old!

Tent city

Mum found something very cool at the shops today.

A tent.

A tent with Thomas trains printed all over it.

A tent I spent quite a bit of time in this afternoon.

It's only little, and it's definately an inside-only tent, but it's just the right size for me and a few blocks, and a couple of cars, and a book or two.

They say every man needs a cave, and now I've got one.

Figuring out pedals

Mum and I had a great day today.

We went to the park and ran between trees.

There's lots and lots of leaves on the ground and I had fun trying to stomp on them all!

After the park we went to the shops to grab some stuff for mum. Now, that doesn't sound too exciting, but mum let me ride my trike! I almost got the hang of the pedals, and got lots of smiles from all the people we saw. I even rode my bike into the chemist! Well, little kids get to go in their prams, so why not my little trike?