Who's it all about?

When I arrived at kindy today they were getting the other kids excited about the Christmas break-up party.

"Do you know who is coming to bring presents for Christmas, Noah?"

I knew the answer to that, "JESUS!" I announced.

Take that Santa.

Yummy questions

"What do hippos eat"?

That's my favourite question lately. Yep, I've started asking mum and dad lots of things, and my favourite subject is food. Well, more specifically the types of food differnet animals like. And for some reason I usually start these threads of questions with the hippo.

Dad told me they eat grass. Mum said fish. Wikipedia agrees with dad.

I'm also quite interested in what sharks, whales, and ants eat too.

Fortunately 'little boys' has not been an answer yet!

Priorities

My ears have been giving me grief this week. The dreaded middle ear infection is back, and it's been making me spew.

I spewed on Sunday. I spewed tonight.

I've got a special bucket. It's an old ice cream one. A gourmet ice cream bucket, to be precise. I reminded dad that it's purpose is for "my 'pews....not ice cream"

After eating a couple of dry bikkies, I was sick again tonight, as mum bundled me off to clean me up, I looked at dad and told him "don't eat my bikkies!" Gotta get those priorities right.

Book club

Usually I wander into mum and dad's room after midnight, and find a place to snuggle between them. Tonight I woke up a bit earlier, and everyone was still up.

Becasue baby Lucy was asleep mum told me to quietly sit in bed and wait for her to clean her teeth.

When she came back she found me perched up on her side of the bed clutching her copy of Pride and Prejudice.

"Ladies, ladies, ladies" I said, glancing at the cover, "It's about ladies".

Two out of three...

"Mum, we'll go to the beach and see the baby dolphins."

"Yes, that sounds lovely"

"...and then we'll eat them"

"oh"

Look to the skies

Mum and I were in the backyard this afternoon when a plane flew overhead. I looked up, and then made a beeline to the covered breezeway.

Mum asked if everything was alright.

"There were stormtroopers in that plane" I informed her.

On doctor's orders

I've been reminding anyone within earshot of my special dispensation from the doctor to not let water touch my head.

"Doctor said no wash hairs!"

It's been such a success that this afternoon I decided to modify the prescription;

"Doctor said no wash hands!"

Unfortunately this appeared to go too far. Not even a doctor of philosophy* would prescribe such a thing.

*Unless there's someone out there with a PHD on why we shouldn't wash our hands. If there is, please tell them to contact me directly!

Sauce on my head

I had an accident today.

I was in the car, waiting for mum to strap me in, when I leaned up against the door. When she opened the door I tumbled out and landed on my head. Not on the soft grass either, on concrete.

Ouch.

There was blood.

Dad came home straight away to make sure things were ok, and we all headed to the doctor where my head was examined.

No stiches needed, just a quick cleanup and some panadol, and a stern warning from mum to not lean against the door when it's being opened.

Later tonight, when recalling the events of the day, the way I explained the doctor cleaning up my wound was that he "put sauce on my head"!

I am also happy to report the doctor said no hair washing for two days. Yes!

The one thing they don't sell

Dad and I walked to the shops this afternoon to buy some groceries for tea.

As we entered the first aisle dad asked "so, what do we need?"

I answered.

"Um, I'm not sure they have that here", dad said.

Right next to us was staff member packing the shelves, he heard dad's reply, and wanting to be helpful asked, "can I help you find what you're looking for?"

Dad laughed, "it seems we're after some Racing Car Toast".

Long term tenant

Mum asked me today if I needed to go to the loo.

"No", I replied,"This poo wants to stay in my bum".

The prune juice may be called upon.

Egg bowl

When I'm at Grandma's house, I often like to eat a hard boiled egg.

So, the other day when Mum asked me what I'd like for afternoon tea, I asked for an egg.

She boiled one for me and then started to peel it.

"No!" I cried, "Not like that! You put it in an egg bowl!"

Mum searched high and low but, apparently, we're the only people in the world with no egg bowls in their kitchen.

"It looks like we don't have any egg cups" Mum said.

Well, that's just ridiculous.

So today, while I was at Kindy, Mum went to the shops and bought two little egg cups.

One for her and one for me.

* You might call them egg cups, but I prefer the term 'egg bowl'

Tv critic

"I don't like Iggle Piggle on the TV" I announced to dad as I pressed the 'off' button on the TV.

"I like Jim".

Routine

Things are getting back to normal this week at Long Lived Rock.

Mum and I took baby Lucy to Playgroup for the first time today.

I was very excited to get to play with my friends again. I haven't seen them for three weeks!

The girls were all interested in my new sister. And the mums all wanted to hold her. But we boys just wanted to play!

On the way home, Mum warned me that we were going back to daytime sleeps.

I must have been tired because I didn't even protest.

Mum put baby Lucy to bed first while I lay in my bed and waited for her to tuck me in.

And then we all had a sleep.

I like being back in routine.

I've even put it out there that Mum might like to take me back to Kindergym this week!

She likes Rock 'n Roll

My baby sister was born today.

Mum and dad were intereste din how I would react when I saw her for the first time.

I bundled right up to her, looked her right in the eye and said 'you'll sleep on the bottom bunk, I'll sleep on the top!'

Then I looked at mum and said 'She likes Rock 'n Roll'

Gamer

I've been into gaming for a while now.

I even have my own Playstation controller.

The only thing is, it's not plugged in.

That's right...when I play computer games with Dad, I generally don't get to play them.

I'm more of a spectator.

But tonight we all discovered my gaming talents.

We'd just had dinner at Grandma and Grandad's place (for Dad's birthday, remember?)

And we decided to have a go on Grandma's new Wii Fit.

I watched the grown-ups attempt the slalom skiing...and then I suggested it was my turn.

No one expected much from me...but I surprised everyone by leaning this way and that and making a clean run through (some of) the little flags.

I even beat Grandma and Grandad's scores in some events!

I think I've found my gaming niche.

Breakfast tray

It's Dad's birthday today!

Mum and I let him sleep in while we made him breakfast-in-bed.

We loaded up a little tray with toast, coffee and some yummy chocolates.

I was quite taken with the concept of the breakfast tray.

When my own brekky was ready, I dumped all my Star Wars toys out of my while plastic toy tub and loaded it with my milk cup and plate of toast.

Then I folded out my tutu-popper couch and sat on it with my big tray on my lap.

I think I'll eat brekky like that every day!

P.S. Mum and I made Dad a cake this afternoon. This time I decided on a green Darth Vader cake. I'll get to ice it after my sleep.

Regression

Ever since I started wearing undies, Mum has lived in great fear that one day I would do A Public Wee.

I've never done one...

...until today.

And it meant our trip to Funnings wasn't actually that fun. For Dad, that is. Because we men were on our own.

It had all gone so well up to that point.

We had shared our usual sausage-on-bread at the start of the trip, and then I pushed my little trolley while Dad filled it up with the things we needed.

Then, just as Dad was choosing a pair of secateurs, he noticed something shiny on the floor.

A little puddle of some sort.

Oh no! I'd done A Public Wee! Actually, I was still in the process of doing A Public Wee.

In a panic, Dad looked around for something to mop it up with. Not an easy task in a hardware store. So we did what most fathers and their small sons would do in such a situation. We fled.

Back at the car, I was relieved of my sodden undies, my tracksuit pants, socks and shoes. And I quite enjoyed my semi-nude return car trip.

But I did remember to say a fairly sincere 'sorry Mum'a'Dad' when we got home.

Helpful Boy

Mum was tired today.

"You want to sleep on my bed, Mummy?" I asked.

"That's a good idea", said Mum.

"Okay", I said. "You have a sleep and I play Legos"

I played for almost a whole hour while Mum had a snooze.

And I made about twenty Lego birds!

One day I'll tell you how to make Lego birds.

Mum got up to make us some lunch.

And she was very happy with me.

Star Wars cake

It's Grandma's birthday!

Mum and I decided we would make her a birthday cake.

"What sort of cake would Grandma like?" Mum asked me.

"A Star Wars cake" I replied.

"And what colour should it be?" Mum asked.

"Blue" I said.

Mum wasn't so sure, "Do you really think Grandma wants a blue Star Wars cake?"

I nodded my head, adamant "Yes, Mummy. She do"

So we made the cake and Mum iced it.

And then, with a blue tube of icing, I drew a very elaborate Star Wars picture.

Grandma was very impressed with my efforts.

Naughty leg

The Scene: the Big Bed, this morning.

Noah: (pointing to right leg) I got a sore leg, Mummy.

Mum: What happened to it?

Noah: It got kicked.

Mum: Really? Who kicked it?

Noah: (pointing to left leg) This leg did, Mummy.

Mum: Uh oh! Your leg kicked your other leg?

Noah: Yes it did, Mummy. Naughty leg! (smacks left leg hard)

Mum: So now I guess you've got two sore legs.

Home alone

I had a long afternoon sleep today.

While I was asleep, Mum realised we needed a few grocery supplies.

Dad was planting trees in the backyard.

"Keep an ear out for him" Mum told Dad, "If he wakes up and can't find anyone, he'll get scared and cry."

Turns out I'm braver than I'm given credit for.

Dad did keep an ear out. And he didn't hear anything.

But he did see something; when he peered in the windows he saw that the venetian blinds were all askew.

He raced inside to find me in the study, perched up on the office chair, my hands covered in sticky tape and many, many Internet Explorer windows open on the computer.

"Who did that to the blinds Noah?" he asked me.

"Daddy?" I suggested.

"Nope" Dad said, "I'm Daddy and I didn't do it".

So I fessed up. About the blinds. And about the sticky tape. And about the computer.

"I sorry Daddy. I not do it ever ever again"

And chances are I won't get left alone in the house ever ever again.

The story of Gideon

Now that I've graduated to Midgets (Sunday School for little kids), we do Bible stories at church.

This is what I told dad after church;

"God told a man, not Moses, to go BANG, and all the men ran away"

Apologies

I'm pretty good at apologies.

In fact, I'm so good I sometimes make the apology before I actually do the thing I'm apologising for.

Scene 1: Mum and Dad's bed

Noah: (jumping on bed)

Mum: Noah! Don't jump on the bed!

Noah: (putting on a very solemn face and tone) I sorry Mummy. I not do it ever, ever again.

Mum: That's ok. Thank you for saying sorry.

Scene 2: Mum and Dad's bed - five minutes later

Noah: Can I turn on Daddy's light?

Mum: No you can't.

Noah: (inching towards the light) Please Mummy?

Mum: I said no.

Noah: (with light switch in hand and putting on a very solemn face and tone) I sorry Mummy. I not do it ever, ever again.

Noah: (switches on the light)

Shhhh!

I know a secret.

I don't even know that it is a secret.

Mum and Dad sometimes wish they hadn't told me.

Because they're sure I'll spill the beans.

But I haven't told anyone yet.

Well, I might have told one or two people.

But they're not telling.

Cup of tea

Mum: Good job eating your lunch! Would you like an orange now?

Noah: Yes please. And a cup of tea.

Funnings

There's a wonderful shop.

That I love very much.

I call it 'Funnings' and indeed, it is a fun place to shop.

Dad and I went there after church this afternoon.

I had my own little trolley to push around the aisles.

Which made a few old ladies smile.

Dad even gave me jobs to do, like find a nozzle for the caulking gun.

And I did it! Are you impressed?

Then we shared a sausage on bread.

I love Funnings.

The non-pirate

I wasn't a pirate in the church family service today.

The other kids from Midgets were.

But I decided fairly early on in the piece that I wouldn't be one of them.

We arrived early for the rehearsal.

Mum tried to get me to put on my patch and hold my pirate sword.

I rejected the patch but hung onto the sword.

Then she put me on the stage and put my hand in Claire's.

But she hadn't backed away a full metre before my bottom lip dropped.

By the time she was back in her seat, I was wailing.

I thrust out my sword in Mum's direction and called out for her to get me.

So that was the beginning and the end of my first theatrical experience.

But, you'll be pleased to know, I spent a happy hour of so playing pirates with my friends after the service finished.

But I need it!

Mum and I were doing battle over a highlighter that I just had to have.

"I need it!" I whined.

"But why do you need it?" Mum asked.

"I need to draw wif it" I continued to whine.

"Draw on what?" Mum asked.

"I need to draw on the floor!"

Wrong answer.

I folded my arms and sulked.

"I berry angry and cross wif you, Mummy"

Nude Dude

I've decided to embrace nudity.

Dad says I've picked the wrong season for it.

But I don't care.

I just like to get nude.

Then, when I am nude, I dance around the house and sing, "I'm a nude dude!"

Mum finds it ironic that when I want to be nude, I can strip myself off in a flash...

...but I still insist on a grown-up providing clothing-removal-assistance when it's time to go to the toilet.

How to amuse oneself at the shops

Mum and I hit the shops today.

First, we bought me a new bunk bed!

I've decided that I'll sleep on the top bed and the new baby will sleep on the bottom bed.

Mum says no. Apparently, I have to sleep on the bottom bed for a few years first. And the new baby won't get to sleep in it at all for a while.

Then we went to a few more shops at the shopping centre.

Mum doesn't seem to have much patience with me at the shops these days.

It could have to do with some of the tricks I've come up with to amuse myself.

Today I sat in my stroller and repeatedly made loud fart* noises with my mouth.

Then I would shout, "WHAT'S THAT NOISE?"

I thought it was pretty funny. Lots of people turned to look at me.

But Mum didn't think it was very funny.

She'll be doing some grocery shopping this afternoon.

And I'll be staying home with Dad.

*Is that still a naughty word? We're sorry for using it if you think so. But what other word is there?

Me & my peeps

Mum: "Ok Noah, let's grab your bike and go to the park for a ride."

Me: "Yes, and Gabe will come and help me..."

Mum: "Sorry, but Gabe can't come because he's at school."

Me: "Aanika?"

Mum: "Nope. She's at school too."

Me: "Will any of my kids be there?"

They weren't. But we still had a great time.

After the first bike trek a week or so ago, mum got me a helmet. I thought it was so cool that I contunued to wear it at the park, on the swings!

Look at moi

I was quite excited coming home from kindy in the car today. So excited that I had to tell mum how excited I was;

"Mummy, mummy, mummy...Look at me and talk!"

A bedtime prayer

This was my prayer last night;

"Dear God Thank you for Mum and Dad and Noah and our baby. And the master and the Dane...and the little boy who lives down the lane. Amen."

No worries

I have a new thing I like to say.

It's 'no worries'.

I like to engineer conversations in which I can say 'no worries'.

Me: "Say 'thank you Noah'"

Mum: "Thank you Noah"

Me: "No worries!"

Gift inspiration

Mum told me today that Dad's birthday is coming up.

She said we should start thinking about what to get him for a present.

"What would you like to get Dad?" she asked me.

"Stormtroopers" I replied, without hesitation.

"Lots and lots of stormtroopers!"

It's a good thing Dad and I like the same things.

The Yoda Lego Poo Challenge

It's been a while since I've done a poo in the loo.

No one quite knows why.

I used to do poos in the loo.

Now I do my poos in my nighttime nappy.

And Mum and Dad are getting a bit tired of nocturnal nappy changes.

They'd like to do away with nighttime nappies altogether.

But not while poos in undies present a clear and present danger.

So this morning Dad set me a challenge.

If I can do three poos in the loo, he will give me some Yoda Star Wars Lego.

The challenge has been set.

But so far, I'm sticking with wees.

I didn't mean to!

I have a new line that I use whenever I'm caught doing something I shouldn't.

"I didn't mean to".

I always deliver it with great sincerity and it often follows a heartfelt "sorry Mum'a'Dad"

But Mum'a'Dad* seem to be on to me.

This morning I stood on the vacuum cleaner hose.

Dad told me not to do it again.

But I did. Straight away.

Then Dad got cross.

"But I didn't mean to, Dad!"

* Mum'a'Dad is the collective term I sometimes use for my parents. It's particularly useful when issuing apologies. "Shorry, Mum'a'Dad", I'll say. Just to cover all the bases.

I missed you

I like to tell people I missed them.

After Kindy, I always tell Mum I missed her.

And today, when Uncle Moo and Grandma picked me up from Kindy, I told them I'd missed them too.

I had a good play with Uncle Moo at Grandma and Grandad's house.

He gave me some fun books for my birthday.

Then Mum and Dad came and we all had tea together.

When it was time to go, I hugged everyone and told them "I'll miss you"

And I said it again in the car on the way home.

"I miss Uncle Moo" I said, "I really, really miss him".

I lub Lego

I've never shown the slightest bit of interest in petrol stations before.

And then I got a Lego petrol station for my birthday.

As Mum and I drove into the petrol station after Playgroup today, I got very excited.

"It's just like mine Lego!"

I cried bitterly when Mum didn't let me get out of the car to use the petrol pump.

But I was happy again when she decided to let me out of the car to go and pay for the petrol.

Then when we got home, I opened up a new birthday present.

More Lego!

This time, I got fireman Lego.

"Let's go open it Mummy!"

So we did.

Mum helped me put together the fire truck.

I was happy to follow the instructions right up until the point where the fire hose had to be connected to the ladder on top.

I wanted the Lego fireman to hold it.

"He want to 'peew'* wif it, Mummy", I explained.

*'Peew' is my favourite shooting sound effect. Imagine the electronic sound a lightsabre makes when it's in action. That's the sound of a 'peew'.

More cake for me

It was Kindy day today!

It was exciting because I got to take my Amah G to show her my 'kindy work'.

She was very impressed with all the fun things there were to do.

But I was quick to point out that I do lots of 'hard work' at Kindy.

That's 'cause I don't like Mum and Dad thinking they're the only ones who go to work.

Mum came and picked me up and for the first time, I didn't come running up to her for a 'poopa-up hug'.

I was too busy.

My Kindy ladies told Mum I'd had a wonderful day.

And that the Kindy had made me a dinosaur cake.

And all the kids had sung happy birthday to me as I blew out my candles.

It was a very happy day.

She makes me happy

It was mother's day today, but the attention was still all on me.

Grandma and Grandad came for tea and Amah G and Poppy were still here.

That's four grandparents to play with at once!

After tea, I was getting a bit tired and grizzly.

I was particularly grizzly because Dad told me we'd have to finish building my Lego petrol station tomorrow.

While I sat on Amah G's lap being very cross, Grandma started giving me little pokes with my pirate sword.

And slowly, my frown turned into a smile...

..then a bit of a giggle.

"Ahhh," I said, "She makes me happy".

Happy birthday to me!

It's not actually my birthday today.

But who cares!

Because it's party day!

I woke up very excited.

The grown-ups were excited too...in a cross sort of way...because the gazebo where we'd planned to have my party was already taken.

But it didn't matter, because we got a great spot right near the playground in the park.

Right near the crocodile slide!

I have been terrified of that slide but desperate to ride on it.

And today, I finally worked up the courage!

I think I was just as excited about the crocodile slide as I was about the rest of my party.

We had a game of pass-the-parcel and a fun activity where we decorated bikkies with coloured icing.

The grown-ups all stood around and talked.

Like grown-ups tend to do.

But we kids just played on the playground equipment and had a great time.

My cake was a green figure-eight racing car track with cars on top.

I liked blowing out my candles.

But then I was too busy to eat a piece of my cake!

Even when Grandma tried to pin me down to open a present, I wouldn't stay still.

"I go now", I told her, as I ran back to the crocodile slide, "I very busy".

Wees at the shops

There was no Kindygym for me today.

No, we were too busy getting ready for my party.

We had a quick trip to the shopping centre to get some last minute supplies.

This particular shopping centre has some toilets that I particularly like.

We had half filled our trolley at the supermarket when I announced that it was time to do a wee.

Mum didn't think it was; she had made me go just before we'd left home.

"Are you sure?" she asked me.

"Yes," I said, nodding my head firmly, "Do a wee NOW!"

So we abandoned our trolley, walked all the way to the parents room and set me up on the little kids toilet they have there.

Mum is sure I didn't really need to do a wee.

It's just that I love shopping centre toilets.

Luckily we got back to the supermarket to find our trolley was still where we'd left it.

The trouble with No. 2's

I was explaining my bowel trouble to Mum this afternoon.

Noah: I say 'come on bum, you do a poo now' but no, he not want to do it.

Looks like there'll be some more prune juice in my diet before long.

Naughty boy

There's a boy at my Kindy.

Who's a bit naughty.

Mum says we can't use his real name.

So we'll call him Fred.

I get great delight in telling Mum and Dad all about the naughty things Fred does.

"He throw sand!"

"He push the kids!"

"I say, 'You stop it Fred. You be a naughty boy. I don't like it"

But I have a tendency to blame Fred. Even when we're at home. And Fred is nowhere to be seen.

"Don't jump on the couch" Mum will say.

"Fred do dat", I'll reply. "He a naughty boy"

"Well, you're being naughty when you do it too" Mum will reply.

To which I'll give her my best shocked-and-hurt look, along with some indignant protests.

"I not a naughty boy...

...I a very good boy...

...I do da right thing!" I'll say.

"Fred...he da naughty boy!"

Just kidding, Mum

I had a big run around with my friends at Playgroup today.

It's my favourite thing to do.

On the way home in the car, I gave a big yawn.

"I is a bit tired" I told Mum, just before another big yawn.

"That's good" she replied "Because you're having a sleep as soon as we get home"

Uh-oh

There was a moment of silence, while I considered my next move.

"I not tired anymore!" I sang out, in my chirpiest voice.

"I all fine now!"

Pedal Power

I've had my tricycle since I turned two.

It was my birthday present from Grandma and Grandad.

Now I'm about to turn three.

And I've finally figured out how the pedals work!

I've had a go at pedalling before but wasn't really keen to perfect the skill.

It was much easier to just get a grown-up to push me around with the handle on the back.

But today, Dad showed me again.

And it clicked!

I pedalled up and back the garden path again and again.

Mum and Dad were very proud of me and plan to take me to a park soon where I can pedal up and down bike paths to my heart's content.

Moses

I'm not a fan of the creche at our church.

Mum thinks I find it 'too unstructured'.

Whatever that means.

I just know that if an adult takes me to the creche, they'd better plan on staying for the duration.

But when you turn three at our church you become a 'midget'.

That's more like proper Sunday School.

Since my birthday is only a couple weeks away, Mum decided we'd road test Midgets today.

I sat very close to my friend Claire and kept watch that Mum stuck around too.

The story was about Moses, and how little baby boys got chucked in a river.

Mum didn't think I was taking much in, given that I seemed preoccupied with making sure that she and Claire stuck by me.

But it turns out I was listening.

Later, when Mum took me to the toilet, I started telling her a bit about Moses.

'Dat baby got in da river', I said. 'Wif da wokafiles (crocodiles)'.

'Umm, that's right', said Mum.

'But we not poop our baby in da river, no Mummy, we not do dat' I said firmly.

'No' Mum agreed, 'We won't put our baby in the river'.

Double Doors

Mum and Dad were looking at brochures for garden sheds this afternoon.

I was helping out by hovering about in the background and repeating things they said.

'This one has double doors,' Mum said.

'Double doors, double doors, double doors...' I said, over and over again.

I liked the way it sounded.

So I kept saying it.

After a while, I was asked to stop saying 'double doors'

"Double doors, double doors, double doors..." I kept saying.

So I got sent to my room.

Later, when I'd been released, I had a cuddle with Dad on the couch.

"Sorry Dad," I said.

"I don't say that word 'double doors' ever again".

Apparently 'double doors' isn't something you can say in our house.

Forward Roll

I mastered a forward roll today!

We're all very proud of me around here.

I've never been much of a risk taker, so when the instructor at Kindy Gym offered to teach me how to do a forward roll, I declined.

I declined the next week too, and the week after that and the week after that...

Until today.

Mum decided that she'd seen enough kids being taught to 'forward roll' to teach me herself since I didn't want a bar of the instructor's help.

The first couple of times I needed some help.

But then I was on a roll...literally!

I rolled for most of the morning.

And tonight I showed off my forward rolls for Dad.

I'm pretty proud of me too.

Just when they thought I was toilet trained....

I'm in a bit of trouble at the moment.

Mum's not saying much to me and she won't play cars.

She says she's cross.

I don't like being in trouble.

'You not be cross at me, Mummy. How 'bout me be cross at YOU,' I suggested.

But I know why I'm in trouble.

It's all to do with a poo.

Mum could tell I needed to go to the toilet, but I was avoiding it.

Too busy playing cars, Mum.

Finally, Mum had enough and ordered me to the toilet.

To speed things along, she pulled down my pants and lifted me onto my toilet seat.

And then she looked down at the floor.

And was shocked to see.

The biggest poo.

She has ever seen.

Uh-oh.

I was ordered to stay on the toilet and not move. That was fine, because I was still busy adding to my business.

Mum ran away.

And had a bit of a spew.

Then, with me looking over her shoulder, she pooper-scooped it all into the toilet.

And I've been in trouble ever since.

Happy 10th Anniversary Mum!

All you need is lub

I'm an affectionate boy.

I tell Mum and Dad that I 'lub' them all the time.

'I lub you Mummy', I said today.

'I really, really, really lub you'.

Mum thought that was very sweet.

Then she asked me if I'd like to play outside.

'Oh, I'd lub it' I said. 'I'd really, really, really lub it'.

But she loves that I'm always talking about how much I lub things.

She really, really, really does.

Manners

My Kindy ladies have been telling Mum that I have good manners.

He always says 'please' and 'thank you', they say.

Mum was pretty pleased to hear that I'm such a polite boy.

But Dad thought he'd go a step further and teach me some more manners.

That's because yesterday, when he and mum were chatting about boring grown-up things, I tried to get their attention by shouting 'listen to me!'

So Dad taught me to say 'excuse me' instead.

And I've been using it, with great effect, ever since.

Mum's hoping that when she picks me up from Kindy tomorrow, she'll hear that I've been remembering to use it there too.

Time lord

I'm starting to grasp the concept of time.

Terms such as 'next week' and 'tomorrow' have never meant much to me.

But today I gave the first indication that I'm giving some thought to time.

When Mum helped me go to the toilet this afternoon she asked me if I needed to do a poo.

'No' I said, 'I'll do it next week'

And later in the afternoon I told Dad that I'd done a wee in my pants...

Last week.

He's out now

I met a very small baby at the hospital today.

He's only one day old!

Mum explained that he was Nick and Becky's new baby.

I just sat very still and quiet and stared at him while the grown-ups talked.

Mum wondered if I really understood what was going on.

But at soon as we got back to the car, I showed her that I did.

'Becky's baby is out now' I explained.

'He was in the tummy but now he is out'.

'And the tummy door is shut!'

Mum said she thinks a tummy door is a good idea.

He's hiding

Dad showed me a big caterpillar on our lemon tree this afternoon.

He showed me where it had been eating the leaves.

He flicked if off the tree and said "don't eat our tree". I repeated this phrase and wagged my finger at the caterpillar.

Dad took me inside, and told me he'd be 'back in a second'.

I asked if I could go back outside to inspect the bright green bug again.

I couldn't find him.

Dad said he was gone*.

There was a big rock where the caterpillar had been.

Mum, who had been putting the clothes on the line, wondered if it was hiding.

"He hiding?" I said.

Then I put my hands over my eyes and counted to ten.

"Where are you" I asked to the spot the caterpillar was munching only minutes earlier.

I didn't find him.

*Yes, THAT kind of 'gone'.

It's my turn

It's been a bit cold lately so today Mum pulled out some long-sleeved t-shirts.

One of them had the Wiggles on it!

"Did you get it at the shops Mummy?" I asked.

"No" she said, "This came from Sam"

"Yes", I nodded.

"And now it's my turn to have a go"

My dad rocks

Dad went out tonight.

To rock*, he told me.

Nat's daddy came to pick him up and I waved from the porch.

Later, when it was time to go to bed, I told Mum that we needed Daddy to do 'Dear God'.

"Daddy's not here, remember?" Mum said.

"Yes", I said, "He's gone to rock"

"He will play the guitar and Nat's daddy with do the microphone...and the other man** will play the guitar too. Two guitars, Mummy!"

* They went to the Switchfoot concert. And, disappointingly, didn't get to play the instruments.

** The other man is called Steve. I was convinced it was Uncle Ben. But it wasn't.

Backpacks

I discovered today that my Wiggles backpack can be worn on my back.

I didn't know this, because Mum usually carries it for me.

But today, I saw that my friend Sam brought his Wiggles backpack to Playgroup too.

And he was wearing it on his back.

Wowsers!

So tonight when it was time to go home after tea at Grandma and Grandad's, I absolutely insisted that I wear my backpack on my back.

And I was very unhappy with Dad when he said I couldn't wear it on my back in the car.

I put it back on as soon as we hopped out of the car at home and then got quite cross when Mum said I couldn't wear it on the toilet.

Don't the grown-ups in this house know that backpacks go on your back?

Don't tread on me

I'm into frogs today.

I hopped around the around the house saying 'ribbit'. Inspired by something I saw on TV.

I hopped to the toilet, and as mum was helping me wash my hands I informed mum that there was a frog in the hallway. An imaginary one.

She musn't have been listening properly, because when she lef tthe bathroom she stepped right on it!

"Don't step on my frog!" I yelled.

Poor mum, her vision for imaginary animals isn't as good as mine.

Gone home

I've been having some troubles on the loo lately.

And that's led to a few false alarms.

'Time a do a poo Mum!' I shout.

We race for the toilet.

I try hard before shaking my head sadly.

'He gone' I tell Mum, 'He gone home to his house'

* Want a cure for constipation? Drink 700ml of prune juice over a couple of hours like I did.

Being grown-up

I've been trying out a few grown-up excuses lately.

Here are a few cases-in-point;

Mum: Noah, it's time to pick up your toys.

Me: I can't. I'm too busy.

Mum: Time to go to the toilet Noah!

Me: Not now, I'm too sick.

Mum: It's teatime Noah.

Me: No Mum, I'm too tired.

Unfortunately, none of them seem to work for me.

What's goin' on?

I stood in my doorway after lunch, peered into my room, and announced, "hi toys, what's going on?"

Pick me up

Mum: Noah, you're getting very heavy. I don't think I'm going to be able to pick you up for much longer.

Me: Well, how 'bout Amah* do it?

* Grandma

What do you mean no bunnies?

I discovered something the other day.

Mum was getting the spare room ready for Aunty Lyndall to stay over Easter.

And she accidentally left the cupboard door open - revealing a stash of Easter bunnies and eggs.

"They're for when Aunty Lyndall gets here," said Mum.

This immediately sparked a vigil for Aunty Lyndall* that's been going on for three days.

My first words after each sleep are to do with Aunty Lyndall and bunnies.

I watch out for her car. I ask Dad if we can visit the bunnies. I make casual suggestions such as "Want to eat my 'funnies, Mummy?" and "It's time for 'funnies now!"

But to no avail.

It might be a long week for us all.

* I do really love my Aunty Lyndall and not because there's a link between her visit and the prospect of chocolate 'funnies.

Master and apprentice

Mum and I were cleaning out my cupboard today when we found my industrial ear muffs.

"Can you remember what these are for?" asked Mum.

"That's for mo-mo!" I said.

Mum realised that I probably don't remember the last time I wore my ear muffs at a loud concert. And that the only ear muffs I see are the ones Dad wears when he's mowing.

I was pretty keen to put on my ear muffs and join Dad, who was mowing the lawn.

So I grabbed my little blue lawn mower and Dad and I mowed the lawn together.

Dad said it might have taken twice as long but mowing with me was a special father-son time.

Good times!

Quote of the day from mum; "Noah will need a change of clothes because he's covered in paint and jelly"

Good times!

Doctor Noah

Mum and Dad have noticed that I have a very caring personality. And that I like to practice being a doctor when I think someone might be hurt.

Here are some examples:

When Dad was getting frustrated trying to fix his bike. I said, 'Need a hug, Daddy?' He said yes, please. So I went and put my arms around his neck and said, 'It's okay, Daddy, don't worry'.

When Mum stood on one of my wooden blocks and cut her foot, I was very concerned and kept asking if she was okay. 'Want me to check the bud pessa, Mummy?' I asked. Mum, not quite knowing what I was on about, said yes anyway. So I ran off and came back with the blood pressure monitor from my doctor set.

Today Grandma stood on something a bit sharp while we were hanging out the washing. 'You need ice, Amah,' I said. She got me an ice pack and I put it on her foot. I didn't have my 'bud pessa' monitor with me so I just pretended to take her blood pressure. When I'd finished my work-up I told her, "You say 'ta Doctor Noah'".

If I come across someone who looks a bit worried or upset I always say 'Don't worry' or 'Want a hug?' And I'm very liberal with my hugs and kisses.

Undies

I wore undies to kindy for the first time today.

I wear undies all the time at home, and when we're out for short trips.

But today I wore them all day and didn't have a single accident.

Mum thinks I'm just about toilet trained.

Miniature Trains

Today we went to a park where you can ride on miniature steam trains.

I'd been looking forward to it all weekend.

We ate our lunch first and I kept talking about how I'd be going on the train soon.

It was very exciting.

So Mum took me to have a look at the trains coming into the station.

And then I wasn't quite so excited. I was a bit scared.

'It's okay, Noah', said my friend, who is five.

'The trains aren't really scary, they're fun'.

I was willing to trust the word of a five year old to the point of sitting on the train, even while I clung on very tightly to Mum.

And it turns out I had a great time!

Later on, I had just as much fun standing near the tracks with Dad, watching the trains go past.

Party!

I went to a birthday party today. At a park.

It was for my friend Nat who is five.

Mum thinks it might have been the first real, big boy party I've ever been to.

I was very impressed with the whole affair.

In the car on the way home, I had a bit of a chat with Mum.

'I want a party, Mummy', I said.

'I want a cake...

'...and I want some presents!'

I think I've grasped the concept nicely.

Old friends and cousins

Today might just have been one of my favourite days.

Mum and I hit the road to do some visiting.

First stop was my friend Olive who lives in a new town now. We haven't seen each other for a few months. Mum thought we might be a bit shy with each other. But we weren't. And every now and then Mum caught us giving each other little hugs. We're good friends, we are.

Next stop was Mum's cousin and her two kids Joash and Ezra. Joash is two years older than me but Ezra is my age. I wasn't shy around them but I did take a while to warm up to the family pets. As we arrived, I gave Mum a worried look and pointed with each hand at the dog on the balcony and the cat in the lounge and said, 'A hat and a dog, Mummy'.

Mum then left me for an hour to do some visiting of her own. Her friend Michelle has just had a new baby. I wasn't told about the new baby because otherwise I'd have insisted on coming along to give it a hug. But I didn't need an explaination; I was just happy to play.

When Mum came to collect me I was with the kids in the backyard and was busy going up and down the slide. It was my first foray back on a slide since I decided a few months ago I was scared of them.

Then it was time to go home. Mum tried to keep me awake for the trip by pointing out bridges and tunnels and roadworks. But eventually I fell fast asleep.

Nude Thursday

I plan to be nude all day today.

It's often my preference on the rare occasions that Mum and I stay home all day.

I have my bath or shower and then while Mum is hanging up my towel, I streak off.

'Should we get you dressed?' Mum asks.

'No, I be dude (nude) a-day (today),' I reply.

But I don't end up staying in the nude all day.

Because at some point, the activity I want to do (go outside, sit on the couch) requires me to be adequately dressed.

Still, there's nothing like running around 'in da dude'.

More yoghurt

Mum was being very unreasonable tonight.

She wouldn't let me have a yoghurt for dinner.

Of course, I'd already had two for breakfast and two for afternoon tea but still...

So while she mashed potatoes, I gave her a stern talking to.

'I SAID you do it, Mummy!'

'You be VERY VERY NAUGHTY!'

'I will give you BIG 'MACK Mummy!'

'You go to yours room!'

And then I started to count to three on my fingers.

'One...five...six!'

Mum's response to all of this was to ignore me.

It's a parenting technique I find particularly frustrating.

But she stopped ignoring me when she noticed me trying to roll up her tracksuit pants and realised I was about to administer a big 'mack.

That was the end of my tirade.

And I never did get my yoghurt.

Yoghurt

I love yoghurt.

It's my favourite food.

I love it so much that I rarely forget my manners when asking for it.

"More yoghurt please, Mum!" I called out when I'd finished my breakfast yoghurt.

"Little bit more yoghurt please, Mum", I said as I finished the after-breakfast yoghurt.

Uh-oh! No more yoghurt! Mum had to show me the empty tub before I'd be convinced.

We drove past the shops on the way to Playgroup and I suggested we pop in for new supplies.

But Mum said we didn't have time.

Then I tried again on the way home from Playgroup.

But Mum said we didn't have time.

After my sleep I tried yet again, "Go to shops and get more yoghurt, pleeaassee Mummy!"

Mum has promised we will get more yoghurt later this afternoon.

I will try to be patient until then.

Showers

I like to have a shower.

But I try to avoid getting too clean.

This morning when Mum told me it was time for a shower, I agreed.

But under certain conditions.

"No wash hair Mummy', I said, shaking my head solemnly.

Since I'd washed my hair the day before and since neither of us had the time or energy for the protests that I mount when it comes to hair washing, Mum agreed.

'And no wash tummy' I added.

'Or bottom'

'Or face'.

But I do love showers. Really.

I'm cool

We arrived home from the coast this afternoon and all collapsed on the couch.

'Ahh', said Mum, giving me a big hug, 'You're a very sweet boy'.

'No I'm not', I corrected, 'I'm Noah'.

'And I'm a cool boy'.

That's what Dad keeps telling me.

Staying power

Do you remember how I stayed up until midnight on New Years Eve?

Tonight, I managed to beat my already impressive record.

We drove to the coast this afternoon to have dinner at Anita and Jim's place with Trevor, Lauryn, Tom and Derek.

Trevor and Lauryn's two kids are a little bit older than me. It took me a few minutes to overcome my shyness but soon I was running around and playing happily.

It helped that Byron is the one who originally steered me towards my love of Star Wars. It helped even more that he'd brought his Star Wars Lego. I was very impressed.

While the grown-ups ate fancy food, we kids munched on chips and watched Kung-fu Panda. And then it was past nine and it was decided that kids should go to bed.

Byron and Darcy went downstairs to the room where they were staying. And Mum took me to our room. But I was too excited to sleep. After several failed attempts by both Mum and Dad, I was declared the winner in the battle of wills.

So I wandered about the deck, sitting on laps and showing various people my spaceship book. When I noticed a box of chocolates had turned up, I strategically avoided asking Mum and Dad and instead asked Derek on the far side of the table if he could give me one. He did.

Mum and Dad were a bit embarrassed that I was up so late. But everyone kept telling me how cute I was and what a good boy I was. And I'm not one to miss out on that sort of attention.

By 12:30 everyone was tired and I finally joined the grown-ups in going to bed, still insisting that I wasn't really tired yet.

Busy Day

You might not think that two-year-old's have such busy lives.

But you'd be wrong.

Take today, for example.

5:45 Wake up. Demand that Mum get me up despite the early hour.

6:00 Discover Aunty Lyndall had stayed the night. Played with her.

7:00 Watch Finding Nemo while eating two yoghurts. One is never enough.

8:30 Bake brownies with Mum. My job is to stir and sprinkle on the m&m's at the end.

9:30 Kindergym with my friend Josiah. Lots of running, bouncing and rolling.

11:00 Play with my friend Anna-Lucia at her house.

13:00 Go home to sleep. Refuse to sleep. Play instead.

15:00 Entertain Mum's friend Bec at my house. She's got a baby in her tummy too! I tried to rest my feet on it. Mum got cross.

17:00 Go out for dinner with my friends Aanika, Zara, Amy and Sam. Play outside. Play inside. Run around table while meant to be eating. Watch Madagascar.

21:00 Go home. Suggest to Mum that I might like to watch some telly. Settle for warm milk and bed instead.

Footy Chips

I am a footy tipper from way back. I've even tried my hand at the Melbourne Cup and an election or two.

You might have seen my work on Youtube.

Well, footy season starts again this week and Dad has been reminding me that we'd be starting to shoot our weekly footy tips again.

'Yes', I said. 'We will have footy tips'

This morning, I kept reminding mum about the footy tips. 'No-no do footy tips today!'

But Mum wasn't expecting my next comment.

'Yes', I said 'I will eat those footy tips'

Hmm, wondered Mum. Was that footy tips? Or footy chips?

We did shoot the footy tips. And then Dad gave me some footy chips.

Just in case there were any misunderstandings.

A better hug

I was a bit out of sorts at one stage today.

"Do you want a yoghurt?" mum asked

"No"

"Do you want a juice?"

"No"

"Do you want to watch TV?"

"No"

Do you want a hug?

"Yes"

Mum bent down to give me a hug and I said;

"No, want a 'poopa up' hug!"

So she picked me up for a lovely hug.

Baby Manni

I'm still quite fond of babies. Which is good, seeing we're going to be joined by one in a few month's time.

Today, Manni was my 'baby'.

I held him in my arms and rocked him to sleep.

After I received some stern words about doing a poo in my undies (don't ask) Manni received some stern words about poos.

I offered Manni a nappy after I had to put one on at bedtime.

Seeing I had to put some PJs on for bed I asked dad if Manni could have PJs too. He grabbed a box of my old clothes and found a jumpsuit that almost fit perfectly. I giggled when Manni had his nappy and PJs on.

When dad took me out to see the moon, I grabbed Manni, and I 'explaied' all about the stars and moon to him, just like dad does to me.

I then read Manni a bedtime story.

Stickers

I was in the mood for rock'n'roll tonight.

I was not in the mood for food.

Dad's friend Craig was over to play Rockband and I wasn't thrilled when they took a tea break.

Mum: Sit up and eat your tea

Me: No!

Mum: Do you want to go to your room for time out?

Me: Yes!

Mum: ...by yourself, with the gate shut?

Me: Yes!

Dad delivered me to time out and the grown-ups went back to their tea.

I was being so quiet, for so long, that Dad got a bit suspicious and went to check on me.

He found me sitting up at my little blue table, playing with a big sheet of stickers.

I'd stuck stickers to the table.

I'd stuck stickers to the carpet.

I'd stuck stickers to myself.

There were stickers everywhere!

And then I had to eat my tea.

I can catch a ball!

Grandma and I played with a ball today.

Shw threw it to me, and I caught it. More than once.

She told mum. Mum tried it. I caught it again.

She told dad. He tried it. I caught it again!

I can catch a ball!

Counting

I surprised Mum and Dad this morning with my nifty counting skills.

We were walking through the carpark on our way to church and I started counting the cars.

"One, two, three, four..."

Mum and Dad looked at each other; they've never heard me count in proper sequence before.

"Five, six, seven..."

"How high can he go?" Dad asked Mum.

"Eight!"

There were high fives all round.

Snowboard

I think I want to be a snowboarder.

Unless I decide to be a gymnast.

Mum took me to kindygym for the first time today and, despite being a bit scared at first, I loved it.

I loved the running.

I loved the jumping.

I loved the rolling.

Then we went home and found Dad eating his lunch, watching the Olympics.

It was almost time for the final round of the women's snowboarding.

Mum and Dad were busy cheering on the Aussie.

But I was too busy snowboarding myself.

I hopped on a little oval cushion and off I went.

My runs usually ended in big crashes.

Just like on the tv.

That's the name of the game

"Play cricket balls?" I asked, as I walked in the dining room, cricket wickets in hand.

Three things to do

Today's quote at breakfast time;

"No-no go kinny today"
"No-no paint...No-no do sticking...No-no sing a song"

Making calls

Dad was on the phone to Andy last night.

So I decided to get on the phone too.

I picked up the cordless phone, pressed a few buttons and struck up an animated converation.
When he'd finished his phone call, dad asked mum if I was actually on the phone to a person.

Mum said no. She thought that if I was talking to a real person, I wouldn't be talking so much.

But she was wrong.

A few minutes after I said bye and hung up the phone, it rang again.

Grandma and Grandad just wanted to report on the long and very lively phone call they'd just had!

Staying power

I woke up from a late sleep today ready to party!

'No-no wake up!' I called out from my bed.

That meant it was time to go to Andy and Wendy's and I knew it.

We had dinner and then settled in to play some Rockband and Buzz.

By the time Buzz came on at about 11 o'clock, the grown-ups were getting a bit sleepy.

But not me.

I even beat Wendy in a round! (In her defence,she was dozing off, and I was mashing random button, and just happened to score big - but hey, the results are in!)

I made it to midnight, and didn't even fall asleep in the car on the way home.

Then we all slept right through until 8:30.

Everyone was impressed with my staying power.